Cole, Alex, & Anna Grace

Sunday, May 8, 2011

One year later, but a bitter sweet week

Last year at this time Mike and I were packing our final suitcases for the trip that would change our lives and the life of a little girl forever. It was the big moment that we had been waiting for during the last three years. We were excited, nervous, sad about leaving our boys behind, and anxious all at the same time. We celebrated Mother's Day weekend and Mike's birthday as a family of four knowing that we would soon become a family of five.
On Thursday, May 13 Mike and I took a van to the Civil Affairs office in Zhengzhou, China along with 2 others families and our guide. We were about to meet little Zheng Ping'An. That day, May 13, was her birthday- a day that should be celebrated but it would be the fourth time in her life that she would lose every one and every thing that she was familiar with. She had been with her biological family, the orphanage, a foster family, and now us.


She was waiting for us when we arrived. She had a very worried look on her face the moment that she saw us- we were strange looking to her, but our guide encouraged us to go talk to her and try to pick her up. The moment we got close, she started crying. She was so scared and had just been taken away from her foster mom of the last several months. She cried for her "mama," and the "mama" was not me. My heart broke for the pain that she was going through. We knew that she would not be allowed to stay with her foster mom and that we were giving her a better life than the orphanage could provide, but it was gut wrenching to see her go to the door of our hotel room and cry out for her "mama."


Over the next few days, our little Anna Grace's personality started to emerge and she started to trust us more and more. She started to smile, laugh, and give us hugs and kisses.


As we celebrate Anna Grace's birthday and Mother's Day this week, I feel a great sorrow for the mother that Anna Grace first had. I wonder if this other lady on the other side of the world has the same kind of vivid memories of the day that her sweet daughter was born as the vivid memories that I carry of the birth of my two boys. I feel that she must have loved her little daughter- she kept her for 7 whole months. I can not imagine the heartbreaking decision to place this sweet baby in the care of the orphanage in order to provide her the life-saving heart surgery that she desperately needed. I feel so sad for this poor lady who gave my daughter- our daughter- life. Her sacrifice will never be forgotten. I am forever grateful and wish that I could provide her with the comfort of knowing that her precious baby is safe, healthy, and loved.



In the last year, Anna Grace has adjusted so well to her new life and family. She loves her dance classes and riding horses. She calls her brothers "my boys" and has them wrapped around her finger. This morning as I was fixing her hair at the bathroom sink just before church she started singing the words "Amazing grace, I once was lost and now I'm found." I did not even know that she knew that song, and there she was in front of me, on our first Mother's Day morning together singing "Amazing Grace." Yes, Anna, God is amazing. He has given us such wonderful gift and has given you enough spunk and perseverance to survive. Happy birthday, precious girl.

1 comment:

  1. i LOVE the picture of her with the flower-- would be great for teh HKI calendar (hint hint)
    :) happy anniversary!!! ours is coming up next month!

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